The power of belonging
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“Belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
As a child, I constantly longed to fit in. I remember the sting of being excluded from birthday parties, the awkwardness of lunchtime conversations that I was never a part of, and the yearning to be included in games and activities. My differences, whether in interests, appearance, or personality, made me feel like I was “the other.”
Each day, I put on a mask, trying to mimic my peers in the hope of being accepted. Despite my efforts, I often felt invisible or noticed for the wrong reasons. This sense of isolation darkened my self-esteem and confidence through my formative years.
High school brought new challenges and opportunities. I found others like me, forming small circles bonded by shared experiences of feeling different. These friendships offered a glimpse of what it felt like to be accepted for who I was, and I still value these friends today.
Transitioning into adulthood, I carried scars of childhood exclusion. The workplace became a new arena for belonging. Initially, I used the same strategies – masking my true self and seeking external validation. But the stakes were higher, and the consequences felt more profound.
It wasn’t until I encountered a truly inclusive work environment that I began to understand belonging. There, leaders and colleagues valued authenticity and celebrated diversity, encouraging me to bring my whole self to work. This acceptance transformed me, my career, and my personal growth.
Belonging, I realized, isn’t about fitting in, it’s about being accepted as I am. It’s about finding a community where differences are embraced, and individuality is celebrated. Reflecting on my journey, I know the power of belonging in a new light. Belonging is essential for our well-being and success, both personally and professionally.
When team members feel they belong, they engage more fully, reducing turnover and fostering a stable, cohesive workforce. According to SHRM’s “The High Cost of a Toxic Workplace Culture,” American businesses lost $233 billion over the last five years due to bad workplace culture, with 26% of employees dreading going to work.
Belonging creates a safe space for employees to express their ideas and perspectives, leading to increased innovation and creativity. It also significantly impacts mental health, reducing stress and anxiety levels, and improving physical well-being. The Organizational Costs of Toxic Culture report shows employees in workplaces they see as unfair are 35%-55% more likely to suffer from major diseases, with toxic workplaces adding $16 billion in additional healthcare costs.
Leaders play a pivotal role in nurturing belonging by modeling inclusive behaviors, demonstrating empathy, and actively listening to their teams. Creating a culture of belonging is an ongoing journey requiring commitment, effort, and authenticity.
Just a few ways leaders can enhance a culture of belonging:
- Ensuring equitable practices, such as flexible work arrangements and opportunities for growth and development.
- Making decision-making processes transparent and communicating decisions clearly to all employees.
- Encouraging open and honest communication and creating spaces where employees can share their ideas and concerns without fear of judgment or consequences.
Belonging is the glue that holds the principles of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Accessibility (DEIA) together, transforming workplaces into vibrant, inclusive communities. By focusing on belonging, we unlock the full potential of our diverse teams, driving innovation, engagement, and success. As we move forward, let us prioritize the emotional and psychological aspects of belonging, ensuring every employee feels seen, heard, and valued.
The journey to belonging is deeply personal and is shaped by unique experiences and challenges. For those who never fit in as kids, the path can be fraught with obstacles. It can also be filled with discovery, resilience, and growth. By embracing individuals as their authentic selves and fostering inclusive spaces, we can transform exclusion into powerful stories of belonging and connection for ourselves, our teams, and our communities.
MeChelle Callen is a Collaborator with Purple Ink, LLC and owner of EquiTable HR Consulting. She is passionate about nurturing inclusive workplaces that empower employees and elevate organizational success through a foundation of belonging and empathy.