February is the right time to talk money as a couple
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Is there anything more romantic than discussing finances with your significant other? Yes, of course, but like most tough conversations amongst partners, not talking about it is going to do more harm than good. Financial decision-making is an integral part of creating a life together, and working as a team is the most effective approach in taking charge of your money.
The division of work when it comes to finances is rarely split 50/50, unlike many other home responsibilities. When it comes to retirement and long-term investing, one partner might be more involved while the other might be more adept at handling the daily finances.
In most homes, one person will take the lead when it comes to finances, but both partners must collaborate to define goals, be ready for financial issues, and maintain sound financial health. Put another way, it’s acceptable to delay making some decisions, but remaining informed about the finances is crucial. Couples that actively discuss and participate in financial discussions often feel more optimistic about their financial future.
Most people are aware that money can often be a cause of conflict in relationships. And if the couple cannot find agreement on financial matters, someone will likely grow bitter if one person is a saver and the other is a spender.
I saw this in my home as I grew up. While one of my parents took care of paying all the bills, the other had a hole burning in their pocket. Not only did we live paycheck to paycheck, but we also lived minimum credit card payments to minimum credit card payments. And this was often a major source of friction in our household, and one of the leading factors in my parents’ divorce.
I was determined that my own marriage would not follow this same path. Despite my eighteen years of experience in the financial field, my wife used to manage all our household finances and we often discussed where we were financially. We recently decided to increase our level of communication surrounding finances and take turns handling different areas of our financial picture.
So how can you be sure that when it comes to money, you and your partner are in agreement? Couples can tackle their finances as a team in a few ways:
Allocate time for discussing finances. Instead of trying to do this in one long conversation, schedule brief check-in conversations on a regular basis. Discuss money frequently to ensure that it is not a taboo subject. Make sure you are keeping on the same path together and encouraging one another. Regular conversations regarding your financial future help keep you both aligned towards the same goals.
To help both of you stay on course, put your goals in writing. This covers both daily budgeting goals and those big-ticket purchases that you will need over time. Discussing the financial wants and needs, and documenting those goals together promotes transparency and accountability to one another. It is important that both individuals contribute towards the same goals together.
Celebrate your accomplishments. Start with simple, manageable objectives and track your progress by identifying the milestones you reach along the way. Have you settled any outstanding credit card debt or paid off a loan? Take your significant other out to dinner. Encouraging good behaviors helps keep you both on course towards positive financial health.
Accept that things happen in life. One or both of you can begin to stray from your budgetary goals from time to time. Errors occur. Emergencies take place. Life happens! Recognize that it happens, work together, and return to your budget as soon as you can. Additionally, be sure not to forget to discuss an emergency fund for savings, because not having one may be very stressful.
Although discussing money may not seem like the most romantic thing to do, a relationship can suffer greatly from a lack of talking about it. Plan a financial date night. Cozy up by the fire with your spreadsheets and 401K statements and begin talking about your financial future.
The information provided is for educational purposes only and doesn’t constitute tax, legal, or accounting advice. It is to be considered as general information, not recommendations. Please consult with an attorney or tax professional for guidance.